The PA's Demands:
We demand that pizza delivery be available 24/7.
We demand that industrial hemp replace every current material, because it's vaguely associated with marijuana.
We demand that public intoxication be recognized as free speech under the first amendment.
We demand that Merriam-Webster broaden the definition of the word "revolution" to include whatever ineffectual bullshit we're doing.
We demand that "harshing one's mellow" be classified as a hate crime.
We demand that a hotbox be recognized an itinerant sovereignty, and not subject to federal, state, or local laws.
We demand that drum circles be mandated in public schools (though we're totally, like not oppressive, dude).
We demand that anyone speaking at any time must be holding a stick or crystal.
We demand the right to free expression (i.e. to babble tangentially to an audience at any public event).
(I'm being a dick, I know, but I'm just astonished at the type of shit that's holding us up.)